You've surely seen the obnoxious little advertising signs which some entrepreneurs use to deface our communities. They can be found alongside freeway on and off-ramps, sidewalks, or medians that have patches of grass or dirt on them. Advertising makes our world an uglier place, and these signs are a blight. Therefore, whenever I see them, I remove the nasty things and throw them in the trunk of my car.
Here's one in particular which I found especially galling:
(Click photos to enlarge)
"Go green!" It says. Not only were trees chopped down to make this sign, but the material is laminated in such a way that the paper can never be recycled. These greedy assholes are reducing the standard of living for everybody with their litter-disguised-as-advertising, which will ultimately end up in a landfill.
I thought about obscuring their phone number so as to make sure I'm not helping them in anyway, but I've changed my mind. PLEASE call their toll-free number and pretend you're interested in their bullshit pyramid scheme. Waste as much of their time as you possibly can, string them along, and then let them know how you feel about their selfish, illegal advertising practices. Tell 'em I sent you.
Now then, as long as these things exist, and as long as they can't be recycled, creative people like me will naturally want to get out our Sharpies and transform them into something more meaningful:
I left this beauty planted right in the heart of San Francisco's Noe Valley, a once-great neighborhood which has been ruined by yuppie gentrification and is now completely over-run with idiots who meander up and down 24th Street pushing those thousand-dollar baby strollers that are designed to be pushed by joggers. I hate these people with all of my heart, and I want them all to stop reproducing.
"But wait a minute," you ask, "isn't it a bit hypocritical of you to rant and rave about crooked advertisers spoiling the aesthetics of our communities and then turn around and do the exact, same thing? Do you think that because you're a prankster/artist that somehow makes it OK?"
Vitriol and observations from an extremely angry little man.
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