Vitriol and observations from an extremely angry little man.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Is There Room for Spicy Language in the Marital Bed?

The most recent e-mail newsletter from Dr. Laura Schlesinger asks that very question, saying,
Some love to hear it, some love to say it. Some don't like it at all. In today's video on The Dr. Laura YouTube Channel, Dr. Laura addresses the sensitive topic of using spicy language during intimate relations with your spouse.

How quaint.

I was all set to make fun of this, but watching the video, I can't help but find the good doctor kind of endearing. She's not as prudish as one might expect, given her status as America's religious conservative moral compass.

See for yourself:

Dr. Laura Says "Go ahead and get nasty!"

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Are You Ready for Some Tailgating!?

101 MPH Test Drive Ends in Tragedy

That guy really messed up.

Regarding the video:

Given that the fatal crash was a rear-ender, there's a bit of unintentional, ghoulish humor in the fact that the video begins with a Kroger's ad which loudly asks, "Are you ready for some TAILGATING?"

For spectacular, gruesome pics of the ruined sheetmetal, here's a Cardomain article:

Messed Up Metal

(Note: The Cardomain entry erroneously describes the accident as a head-on collision. In fact, the Charger seems to have impacted the Sable from the rear.)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Fuck You, Evony!

As if their ad campaign wasn't already stupid enough, now they've abandoned all pretense of having the women dressed in medieval fantasy clothes.

This stuff is too amateurish to be the work of any reputable advertising agency. Not that we've learned to expect good things from ad agencies, but if the jackasses responsible for Evony actually paid an expert to come up with these concepts, that was money wasted. They could have saved a bundle and just had some 4Chan pervert-boy design their banners.

I hate you, Evony!

Stupidity Alert!

UK Online Store Condemned for Selling Pole-Dancing Toy

Note: This is not the pole-dancing doll you've already seen making the rounds on the Internet.

First of all, the article's photograph of the Gallimore family looking so grim, as if they've been horribly violated, is just laughably melodramatic.

Secondly, who is this Dr. Adrian Rogers? Is he a real doctor, or does he have a "Dr." in front of his name because he happens to have earned a doctorate degree in something dodgy, such as "divinity?"

Regardless, his statements about the potential of this product to ruin children's lives are absurd.

I am especially amused by his statement that a dancer's pole is "interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol."

Maybe it's a phallic symbol in his dirty mind, but to the rest of us, it's just a pole.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Go Ahead, Draw Attention to Yourself!

I scanned this in from the December 1983 issue of Electronic Games magazine:


Click the above thumbnail to enlarge.

Political Cartoon

Here is a political cartoon I created back in 2006. At the time there were an awful lot of war cheerleaders spouting all manner of hypocritical nonsense on the AM talk radio shows. As always, please click on the thumbnail to enlarge:

gulf war iraq bush conservative right wing patriot,political cartoon islam jihad dumb american racist,feminist andrea dworkin left liberal peace protest

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Electric Kool Aid Dick Tracy Test





As always, please click the above thumbnails to enlarge.

More Dick Tracy Shenanigans

Here's a recent, incomprehensible installment of Dick Tracy (kindly click the thumbnail to enlarge):


A commenter on had previously speculated that the strip never makes sense, and has glaring, bizarre continuity errors, because the creator's assistant at some point dropped the pages on the floor, then hurriedly put them back together as best she could, and submitted them in the wrong order.

Based on this theory, a commenter by the name of Cougar Allen suggested the following:

Remember about the secretary dropping the strips and failing at trying to put them in order? Looks like each panel of today’s strip was on a separate page….

For hours of amusement: Print out today’s strip, cut it up into panels, and see if you can reassemble the panels into an order that makes sense.

No fair putting two wide panels next to each other, or two narrow ones – your re-ordered comic must fit into the same space as the original.

-Cougar :{)

P.S. If you don’t have a printer you can do the same thing in Photoshop.

Which I have done. Observe how, with a little re-arranging, the strip suddenly makes sense:


Dick Tracy Parody

I recently began following the daily Dick Tracy comic strip, because its abominable art, inane writing, and complete lack of continuity have lead to the creation of a very lively community of snarky commenters. See for yourself:

I am so inspired by this that I've created my own Dick Tracy parody (in case you happen to be unfamiliar with the actual Dick Tracy in its current form, please note that the hideously misshapen hands, continuity errors, and copy-pasted, recycled panels in my strip are all intentional):

comic strip,comics,comic,dick,tracey,funny pages,parody,humor,newspaper,trick,spacey,satire

Trick Spacey episode two

Please click the above thumbnails to enlarge.

Tattooed Swedish Devil Girls Strike Again! Second Male Bicyclist Sexually Molested!

I really hate blogs.

Blogs suck. I hate almost everything about them, especially the fact that every damned blogger out there feels the need to incessantly fill their blog posts with links to other blogs. This can be very exhausting, because any given blog post will generally have some sensationalistic headline that grabs your eye under false pretenses, such as "Tattooed Swedish Devil Girls Strike Again! Second Male Bicyclist Sexually Molested!"

So you read the damned blog entry, and it only gives you a little taste of the story, because the blogger himself is far too lazy to actually write something of substance. Instead, they briefly summarize the non-event referenced in the headline and then provide you with multiple links. This is very aggravating, because the sources to which they link inevitably do the same damned thing! So just in trying to follow one story, you find yourself bouncing all over the cursed Internet.

What a waste of time!

To bloggers everywhere, I have this to say: